Sunday Bashment

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This week’s Sunday Bashment comes from the rapper/singer Fuego @FuegoFBM. The Domican-American singer has been on the scene for awhile, he’s definitely been making moves since he signed to Pitbull’s Mr. 305 imprint. His most recent tune is “cuando suena el bling” this song is Fuego’s take on Drake’s “Hotline Bling”. Here are some of my favourite lines:

“Antes tu me llamabas el iphone cuando necesitaba [sic] amor” (you used to call me on my iphone when you needed love)

“Se que cuando suena el bling, tengo que pasar por alli” (I know when I hear that bling, I gotta get over there)

“Desde que me fue baby tu tu tu, ya casi no hablabamos. te me hace[sic] sentir como el malo. este novio nuevo calmalo.” (Since you left me baby, You you you…. we hardly ever talk. you make me feel like the bad guy. your new boyfriend? tell him to chill)

Arroz Con Chicken Episode 5

 

We have another great episode for you guys this week. I am joined by @JOHN__JUAN for this mess fest! We talk Sanaa & French, T.I./Iggy, Danity Kane including Dawn’s new face and old attitude, Shannon Bex, Sabado Gigante, Advice, our Lumidee sighting of the week and our Yolanda Saldivar for the week.

Follow:
@JOHN__JUAN
@ArrozChicken

Visit:
www.ArrozChicken.com

Email:
ArrozChicken@gmail.com

Michael Sam accepted to Grad school

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Another day, another Michael Sam story. It’s never ending. He’s like an oversized girl who was the LAST in school to go through the change, but nobody knew it because she was always soo emotionally unstable. Anyway Michael Sam posted on twitter that he was accepted to grad school at his Alma Mater U of Missouri. No word on what Sam is studying. Maybe clean plate club sciences or  possibly a degree in kickball with an emphasis on in-door kickball studies? I don’t know, but trust and believe once I find out I will let you guys know. Not sure whether or not his ex-boyfriend is still working swing-shift at Taco Bell, but if you watched their Oprah special you know they moved to that apartment in Texas once he was drafted and were stuck like Chuck. I’m sure they signed a year long lease; oh well you young gays will learn that you never move in with a man unless you have his name or the same strain of STD as him, which ever comes first. I don’t know you queens and I don’t know your proclivities. Not to leave you guys in the dark, I do actually have a copy of Michael Sam’s graduate school application. You can peep it below.

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Black Ink Crew Ep. 4

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It’s Monday, 9pm and I have a can of Lysol at the ready, so you already know what that means; Black Ink Crew!! Each episode is so jam-packed with mess and struggle that it’s hard to keep up. Let’s quickly recap;

Puma told his wife that Julio Iglesias or whatever his partner’s name is wanted to sell him the business for $50k. Sky decided to buy new cakes, Donna stopped by after leaving the welfare office in order to beg for her job back, Cs’s and Dutch are still arguing about whether or not to move down south. Dutch’s idea of empire-building is to spread as much as possible as quickly as possible kinda like Ebola, but with fewer casualties. Sky and Dutch got into it because Sky was convinced that Dutch was making fun of her for wanting a new butt. Granted; Dutch did get two after-market breasts last year for the low low. Sky went off on Dutch in a way that only Sky can! Sky had that “Don’t fuck with me, I used to suck on razor blades and slice girls’ faces for fun in the 90s!!!!” Dutch is always running her mouth and in a girls’ face every other episode; be it a mixie. Quani or Sassy. And those girls always back down. Sky on the other hand; nah she’ll toss acid in your face FIRST and then ask questions later. Sidenote (y’all remember the bad old days when The Gross Sisters type girls would try and slice up the pretty girls’ faces and splash acid on them? ch…. you know they were coming for us pretty girls in the 90s) anyway, back to this week’s episode.

Continue reading “Black Ink Crew Ep. 4”

Black Ink Crew Ep.3

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Oh baby! It’s Labor Day, it’s Monday which means there has been a lot of drinks had, a lot of burnt BBQ and a lot of kickbacks full of plebeians. Sky caught teddy cheating, Pum Pum was kicked out of the business, Dutch wants to move to NC and open a tattoo shop/tow truck company or something. ch, I’m not sure. Which brings us to this week’s episode of Black Stink Crew. Dutch came to visit Pastor Mike at home and to give him a tattoo, because who in the world doesn’t want to tattoo their pastor? That’s some Eddie Long in a cherry thong new age pastor shit. Baby, give me that old time religion, like I used to know and save that new shit for Patti.

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Puma was at the park with Quani’s bangs and their adorable baby talking about Ink124. I will say this, Pum Pum’s the face of Ink124 and was also the face of Black Ink Crew. Why doesn’t Dutch open a shop in NC and let her arch enemy Pum Pum run it? Quani wants Puma to leave NY to get a fresh start, but puma says “I’m not getting run out of New York; I’m not no Mason Betha” THROW IT PUMA!!!!!! If you don’t know your hip-hop history; do your googles sweetheart!! So his silent partner goes to him and says “$50k for the business” he also give the same offer to Caes which seems a little playing both ends against the middle type shit. Granted, this is business and nothing personal, but you can’t win if you ain’t right within. Lauryn teach you that in the mid-1990s, no??

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So Caes is seriously thinking about building his empire and taking it to the next level. Dutch says that Sassy should choose sides, but that Sassy leaving Puma shows how disloyal she is in real life. Seems like an Apple + Oranges = baseball bats Twitter logic type shit. And just to close the scene out we get a great shot of Sky pulling her panties out of her butthole and in the next scene she’s seen working the grill. Teddy finally tells sky that he’s not looking to settle down and that he’s not looking for a real relationship. He is, however willing to eat her hamburgers fresh off the grill, and no that’s not a euphemism he is seriously eating up all the burgers 2-3 hours before anyone falls through the kickback. Certainly *I’M* bringing my own lean cuisine TO the kickback and skinny girl margarita mix because I’m not too sure about that shop or the chef Boyardee’s in that place.

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Sky has decided to get a new butt, she’s gaining weight and then she’s going to have it transfers to her cakes. Dutch is upset because of the long healing process and she feels like Sky should be focusing on her and her wedding. Clearly Sky will look better in her wedding if she gets a new butt. Donna decided to go to lunch with Dutch and beg her for her job back. Dutch being the one who called Donna’s boyfriend and basically told him about all of the dicks she was nibbling when she was working in the shop. Her boyfriend then turned on her and left her. Dutch is over Donna and her BS and just came for the free ice water and boiled peanuts.

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Sky decided to take Sassy with her to her Brazilian consultation because hey, Sassy is a good friend and she also has an unlimited metro card that they could use to get to the consult office. During the actual consult the Dr. asked if Sky had any kids and she became really emotional. Apparently she had two kids when she was 14 and then made the tough choice to place them with another family. That is a really tough decision. Sky was crying in that scene. Child in the next scene she was ready to box Dutch because Dutch said she should postpone her cakes surgery until after the wedding. Sky felt like Dutch was talking greasy about her so she went to check her. Of course Dutch was behind the counter behind 10 different security guards because while she’ll run her mouth to weak bitches like Donna and Quani, she clearly doesn’t want it with a real bitch. Now this is my thing, I don’t know Sky and I don’t know her habits, but when sky was in there WILDIN it seemed like maybe she was on several; where’s Dr. Drew to make it right? Anyway This scene was very troubling because of ALL the people in the shop I would have never thought Dutch and Sky would have had a problem. I’m personally all for plastic surgery so I’m the friend to recommend a good surgeon and then take you to the consult; fuck it. Life’s too short not to. Anyway after the big blow up Sky and Dutch talked it out, grabbed a drink and maybe went skiing (again, I don’t know their habits) and ended their beef; for now. In the next episode Donna decides to come back to the shop to do a tattoo, Dutch and Caes decide to head down south for a little R&R and Quani decides to pack her garbage bag and hop the next Greyhound to who knows where. You’ll definitely want to tune into the next episode. Now if you’ll excuse me there’s a piping hot bowl of menudo on the stove with my name on it! *Cumbia’s into the Cocina*

Sunday Bashment

Our Sunday Bashment comes from none other than Adina Howard. If you were a latch key yute in the 90s who made ramen noodles as an afternoon snack, I’m pretty sure you body rolled all through your granny formal sitting room to “Freak like me”. Adina told y’all who she wanted, what she wanted and HOW she wanted it. For the 1990s this was considered edgy, nowadays; this could be played at most church chili suppers  with no problem. Adina was part of that 1980s/1990s sexual revolution of women who wore timbs, chased men around the basketball court and could deep throat a kool-aid pickle with no problem. They made the best music because they wanted to be just like the boys, but were heart-broken when they found out their thuggish/ruggish boyfriends were really dope boys with a wandering eye or even worse a wandering b-hole, but Chile that’s a story for an arabesque novel. Anyway, enjoy Adina in all of her 1990s weakness!

#TidalXBMIA

It may be Beysus’ birthday, but WE’RE the ones getting the gifts! YEP!! Beyoncé is performing at MIA and her fans are SUPER excited!!! I’m watching the livestream right now and I’m hype, snacks? Check! Drank? Check!! Shouts to mi Tia for hooking up this WiFi and letting me crash at your house for the last 15 years! You’re the reason all this is possible! [/jokes] Anyway, back to Beysus. She just started and she’s doing crazy in love. Beyoncé did some of her biggest hits say my name, jumpin jumping, single ladies, halo, run the world, say my name, partition, end of time, flawless, bow down, feeling myself, etc. She DID that; and the entire time the audience was just standing there almost silent. I’m not sure if it was the crowd, the fact that they had been there all day or what, but I was really shocked. For some, going to see bey is like seeing the Pope. I know I would be going crazy if I saw her live. One of the things I liked most is the destiny’s child tracks she did, that really took me back. I also really liked the dancers, those girls TURNED IT!! It was crazy!! One girl did mess up and she will be fed to a pit of crocodiles like she deserves, but we’re not on that right now… anyway, hopefully next time the crowd will respect the queen when they see her and not act like they are at a funeral. Oh well, you can’t win em all. In the meantime enjoy these shots

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My grandmother’s Ravioli “Remember the a la mode”re

mo-rocca-ok-promo (2)I’ve decided to start livetweeting/blogging about more shows because well, TV is awesome. One of the shows that I ALWAYS tune into is “My Grandmother’s Ravioli” on Cooking Channel starring Mo Rocca. The reason why I watch is because it’s a very good show and Mo has a very nice and comical way about himself.

This evening’s episode focuses on Lewis McMillan, a grandfather in Fanning, Texas who is a pit master. The grandfather opened his first restaurant after coming back from Vietnam. In this episode the grandpa shows us how to choose different woods for our BBQ and make a dry rub for BBQ. The grandfather made a very important distinction between grilling (quick cooking burgers, dogs, etc) and BBQ’ing/smoking which is low/slow and takes at least 5 hours. Now I’ve heard of these dump cakes before, but I’ve never actually had one. Basically it seems like you dump fruit and cake mix in a pan and toss it into the oven. Very simple and no muss/no fuss. If you’re one of those granny’s who takes a tuna and lime Jell-O mold to all the neighborhood bbqs, maybe try this instead?

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I like this season in particular  because it’s not just about cooking there’s a back story. They’ve had episodes about all different types of stuff this season; gun-toting granny’s, gay granny’s who took in Dominican kids, etc. there are some real world topics in this season which I appreciate.

Black Ink Crew Ep. 2 Recap

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It’s Monday, so you know what that means. An all new episode of Black Ink Crew. I honestly look forward to these Mondays, because I’m like “I may be driving a 1992 Astro van and feasting on ramen noodles, but at least I’m not on this show and not in the same situation as these jokers. So let’s do a quick recap and then move forward. Quani is scared to live in the slums, not because of the rats that nibble her eye lashes at night, but because of Case; girl I guess. Duchess and Caes are building their empire so they decided to consult with Yandy and Mendeecess for a power lunch at Olive Garden (which is honestly one of my favorite places to eat). Ted and Sky are in love (read: they’ve thrown away the rubbers), O’Shit is still O’shit…..Donna has had a yeast infection for 10 years and refuses to get it treated. Omg just tooo much…. Anyway let’s get started with this week’s episode!

Some YT dude came in wanting a “Jacob’s ladder” which is a piercing on your Dick. This YT dude is an actor CLEARLY!!! Like not a good one at all. Sidenote: *WHY* is Duchess the only piercer in the show?? Like doesn’t that seem bad for business? Like what about all the girls who want their big stomachs bellies pierced for the Puerto Rican day parade???

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Caes had to pull Donna to the side about her professionalism, her lack off talent and the slimy/slug trail she leaves where ever she sits. Donna being the insulate canker sore that she is; she continued to back talk  and state her side of the issue. Caes seems to be fed up with Donne and ready to let her go. Oh well, guess she better pack up her 1989 Corolla and hit the bricks. Better luck next time

Sky and Teddy and still cupcakin and sky is clearly over the moon. Only problem is Ted screwed that girl who looks like one of the weather girls

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Donna apparently has a new BF, a dude who is missing teeth and has miss Celia plats in his head. sidenote; she was actually taking a shower!! Like I’ve never seen anyone on this show shower!! That’s wild!!

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J Holiday came into the shop and Duchess shaded TF out of him “J Holiday, he’s like an r&b singer or whatever. He had a few little hits or whatever” well damn Duchess!! Anyway Donna was sitting at her front desk tracing different microbes and smashing the bed bugs she brought in with her. Caes called Donna a bitch, so Donna called her boyfriend Max to beat up Caes. The situation was flipped when Dutch called Max and let him know about the 8 different dudes she screwed in the shop, so they in essence turned her own man against her. Oh well hell’s bells!

Later on, Caes decides to rent (read: steal) a school bus in order for everyone to have fun and let their hair down and relax. Basically the shop was funky and this was the only way to get them all wet/showered. O’shit comes into the shop with flippers (basically I’m saying he came into the shop with Nene’s leakes house slippers on) Once everyone finally arrived the dude’s started taking their shirts off and you can tell they eat nothing but hot wings and drink croc slushes. Dutch later pulls Sky to the side on some messy boots shit. And says “girl yo dude tucked one of the weather girls on a pissy. Mattress in the subway. Sky seems like a really decent person who just wants love and she really thought Ted was down for her. Sky later got so upset with Ted that she dumped an entire bottle of water on him, which seems pointless since them hoes just left the water park, but whatevs.

Puma’s business partner has had it up to HERE with
Pum Pum so he offers to sell him the shop for $50k, he also offers to sell the shop to Caes. Sky decides to confront Dutch about being a two-faced mule and things POP OFF!! Sky has been in jail for beating up a preacher at a thanksgiving homeless dinner, do you honestly think she’s gonna spare Dutch’s life?? Bitch I don’t!! Guess you’ll just have to tune in for next week’s episode to see.

Sunday bashment

Welcome to Sunday basement!! I decided I wanted to add this to the site because there are so many amazing songs/videos that deserve some shine. I decided to start out on a high note with Chaka Remus/Pliers-Murda She Wrote! This track was a huge cross-over success. Like each decade has had a wave of reggae dancehall artists that had success overseas; Sean Paul, Shabba, Beenie, Bob Marley, Wayne Wonder, etc. I know I just mentioned a few, but if you grew up listening to west indian music then you already know the deal. It’s to the point where I could honestly do one of these daily because there are sooooo many different tracks that need their shine. Apparently Chaka still out here and he’s getting to the coin. The way that dancehall music was produced in the 80s/90s was amazing; like artists would pick whatever riddim that was hot or even create their own and then “toast” over the beat, have it pressed and then hit up the dancehall/bashment.