ArrozChicken and @LovesToSleep12 are back and have a lot to say this week! Ariana’s concert, the self-proclaimed “Generous Queen” Nicki Minaj, We chat with Ka’Ron La’More about @KyBlackPride, we ask for YOUR advice and so much more!!
This Friday it’s going down at Tee Dee’s Lounge. $5 all night, drink specials, fresh Hip hop music. Kentucky Black Pride kicks the holiday weekend off right. This a 21 and up event. Check us out!!!
This week we’re talkin diddy and the chef, #RHOA, Bow Wow, Raz-B, DeVos and tons of other stuff! We’ve also got a Migos-filled Music Minute for you guys!
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Hola bienvenidos and welcome to Arroz con Chicken podcast the podcast your abuela warned you about! I’m Jaime. Thanks for listening, RT’ing, sharing, etc. We really appreciate it!
Ya’ll show some love to my new permanent cohost Everlena @LovesToSleep12! I’m so excited to have her on board! Be on the look out for her blog!
Shouts to @2uncoolpodcast @TheJohnEffect and @BabyBoyPodcast; love listening to you guys and appreciate all the support.
Onto the show: we talk aretha, queen countess vaughn, nene leakes, Ryan Lochte and tons more!
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Trump and the Baby
Last week I had the strangest experience in the world!! I saw Donald trump get into a fist fight with a toddler !! Yes, Donald Trump and a baby were fighting!!
It all started when we were boarding a plane from New York to New Hampshire. It was a premium flight so all the seats were business class or better. I was sitting in first class with my husband sapphire, real name, Gerald. We were discussing different ideas for his toy poodle grooming business when a crowd of people boarded the plane. I swore I knew one of the people. My suspicions were confirmed when the stewardess asked him what he wanted to drink and he called her a big/lousy/loser because she didn’t have ultra premium imported Saki.
Hola, Bienvenidos & Welcome to Arroz con Chicken; the podcast your abuela warned you about! I’m Jaime and this week i’m joined by @EatWithNia; we talk Olympics, marathons, pop culture, give advice & we even have 2 Yolanda Saldivars this week so get into it!
The big day had FINALLY ARRIVED!!!! It was the morning of the race and I was so excited! I got up early, put together my outfit to match my running flats. I decided to make a healthy breakfast of oatmeal with fruit and green smoothie and then a snack of biscuits and sausage gravy and a salad. I saw the err of the ways so I decided to steer clear of the snickers salads and opt for something a little healthier. This time I decided to make taco salad for my morning snack. I used lean ground beef, gold corn tortilla chips, fresh lettuce, tomatoes, guacamole, homemade bacon ranch dressing and sour cream. Now before you ask me “kelly why are you using sour cream on something healthy?” Let me remind you that I will bread and deep fry your face like a country fried steak if you ask about my dietary choices one more time!! Im over it!!!!” After that I decided to jog around the block a few times. It was really a test for me b/c the 7 Chinese places in the strip mall were just opening up for the day. I usually go to Shanghai hills on Sunday for chicken wings, beef and broccoli, dumplings and vegetable lo mein, on Tuesday to the Panda’s village for Szechuan chicken, crab Rangoon, steamed buns and sweet sticky rice and so on. I always told them that I liked variety in my eating but the real reason was I was ashamed to eat at 7 Chinese restaurants in one week. Apparently their profit shares had each gone up 20% since I had moved into the neighbourhood. I remember Mr lui telling my estranged husband, Jeffery Rolle, that he slaughters an entire cow every Sunday morning just to make a Kelly Price sized order of beef and broccoli. It made me feel good to know all of my food was being made with fresh ingredients. I would typically order large portions that way I had enough for lunch and dinner because I don’t like to answer the phone when I’m watching my shows in the afternoon and evening.
Anyway, after my jog around the block I got ready. I decided to bring the conversion van because I wanted everyone to fit comfortably. I took myself, Jeffery Rolle, my estranged husband, lil mo, her 3 of her 9 children and some of my close celebrity friends like Faith Evans and Keke Wyatt. We walked over to the starting area and I got registered. There was only 30 minutes until the race started. I forgot my snickers shakes and bottled water in the conversion van so lil mo and Jeffery Rolle, my estranged husband, offered to go back to the van and get grab them for me. I made small talk with some of the other runners and about 5 minutes passed, still no water or snickers shakes. I was getting worried. I didn’t know if something has happened to Jeffery Rolle, my estranged husband, and lil mo, so I headed back to the conversion van to investigate. What I saw shocked me. Jeffery Rolle, my estranged husband, was being ridden like a horse by lil mo. He then flipped her over and tossed her salad. I can’t remember one time in my life having him flip me over like that. Whenever we made love it was me lying on my back or him hitting me from the back. Toward the end of our relationship he wouldn’t even try, he would bend me over and stick a kielbasa in my sausage shoot. At first I didn’t know what to make of it. It felt… different…… I had been with Jeffery Rolle for DECADES. I knew what it felt like when he was about the “arrive” the feeling of him swelling inside of me. He got me good for about a month or so and then he slipped up and got bold. He put a kielbasa in my sausage shoot and then slid another one in my back yard entrance. At first it felt good and then I thought “how is he filling up both of my spots if he’s only one man?” I reached around and felt what felt like a kielbasa, I immediately pulled it out of myself and pushed Jeffery Rolle, my estranged husband, off of me. I rolled over in the bed and began to cry. I continued crying until I remembered I had, had a mini fridge and a grill installed at my bedside. I decided it was no use letting the kielbasa go to waste, so i sautéed up some peppers and onions, toasted up a brioche bun and made myself a sandwich. No use in being angry AND hungry. Anyway back to the race.
I couldn’t think about what I had just seen, I had to focus on the race. I got to the starting line. I was nervous, I didn’t know what to expect. Yes, I had been jogging around my block but this was 5k…
The starter’s pistol sounded and I was off. I started out at a strong pace. I decided it was really important to pace myself so I didn’t pass out or break one of my ankles, which would mean no more kitten heels while performing. As I ran I thought about all I had made it through. In the very beginning buying my size 16EEEEEE sneakers, ordering delicious Chinese food. I remember being mistaken for Keenan Thompson at the donut spot and getting into it with that lady. As the first mile approaching I saw the furling station. I stopped at the table and grabbed a drink. I quickly spat it out when I found it was water. Where was my estranged husband, Jeffery Rolle, with my personal protein shake. Turns out he was nowhere to be found, he was probably still in the back of the conversion van making “cream of us” soup with that rnb tramp. I decided to act fast, I ducked through the crowd and called for a ride. It was 10:25 so I was torn. By the time we got through the drive thru it would be 10:40. Sure enough the ride arrived at 10:35 and I know exactly what I wanted: a large meat lovers pizza and a small diet coke with chocolate syrup added. I quickly devoured my snack and told the driver to drive to the Dairy Hut for an Oreo peach peanut butter milkshake. Fresh fruit, healthy carbs, protein, dairy, can’t beat that. On the ride back I slurped down my shake and asked the driver to let me off about half a mile before the end of the race. The driver did just that and I was able to come in 3rd place out of all of the runners. I came in first in my weight class which is a pretty big deal. My friends and family met me at the finish line and there was lil mo holding hands with my estranged husband, Jeffery Rolle. I took the liberty of climbing into the conversion van and leaving everyone behind. I just wanted to get away from it all. The world is my oyster as I sit here at Shoneys writing my diary. If you would like to book me for your next event or would like to buy one of my fashionable stylish ponchos please feel free to hit me up.
Week nine and I had exactly one week until the big race. I was now able to walk/run around the block 3 times without having go directly to the ER, which was quite an accomplishment for me. But I wanted more, I wanted to be able to run across that finish line, collect that trophy and rub it in that rnb diva bitches’ face!! I cut out all sweets except for snickers shakes before during and after my workouts. You might ask “kelly why’re you eating a candy bar if you’re trying to lose weight??” My response would be to run you over with my 1992 conversion van and laugh at you because you’re REALLY trying my patience. But to be honest, snickers shakes count more as protein since they have peanuts and good stuff like nougat in them. I think nougat is full of vitamin c or maybe even d. Speaking of D, I was missing my dick dealer Jeffery. Since I found him eating out a certain rnb diva bitch I decided to kick him out of the house. I told him to go be with that rnb diva bitch and that’s exactly what he did. He moved into her section 8 housing with her and her 6 kids. I decided to drive by and see for myself. I hopped inside my conversion van and headed that way. As I was rounding the block for her project building something stopped me in my tracks; a “hot donuts NOW” sign flashing. I had my van up on two wheels trying to get in that parking lot. There was an old woman and her grandson in line waiting and I tripped the old woman. Before she knew what hit her she was lying flat on the floor. Everyone in the shop ran to assist her and while they were helping her I stepped over her and walked up to the counter. Some people may ask me “kelly why would you do that??” And my response would be “Dont you know im kelly price and I’ll throw a brick at your face??” Anyway, I walked up to the counter and I was in awe. I saw so many different types of donuts. I decided to stick with my diet though. I chose half a dozen strawberry cheesecake donuts. They had fresh strawberries on top and a cream cheese filling which is calcium. I then chose blue berry qwwglazed donuts, pecan sticky buns and a peach crumb cake bites. Once I had my morning snack I drove over to Lil Mo’s apartment. There was a busted window with shattered glass ALLOVER the sidewalk. A feral cat hopped through the broken window and had a seat on the plastic lawn chairs in the front room. Lil mo came sauntering into the living room wearing cheap lingerie and even cheaper heels. Apparently she decided to prepare breakfast for Jeffery, my husband, which was laughable. She had sugar slurps, toaster bites, french toast sticks and hot sausage links. She clearly got out her finest paper plates to serve Jeffery this meal. As I saw them eating I had so many questions, why her and not me? What did she do that I couldn’t? Should I turn her in for mismanaging her food stamps that the government gives her for her half dozen kids? I was full of emotion. I was also full of regret for not taking them up on that “buy 1 dozen, get 1 dozen half off” sale at the bakery. After this I think I’ll slide back over to the bakery for that second dozen. After Jeffery had finished his breakfast, lil mo and Jeffery began to get comfortable on the couch. Apparently they had no problem with the broken window and lack of blinds which allowed me to see everything that was going on. I was shocked by the sight of lil mo without her wig. She was bald. And not that “im a natural hair goddess” type bald, I mean she looked a mess!! Her unspeakable parts were hairy and unkempt. Didn’t seem to mind to Jeffery because he allowed her to mount him and ride him like a race horse. I had to put a stop to this so I got out of the car and jumped through the window. The only problem was the window was kind of small so I became stuck in the window. Lil mo jumped up from the couch. She stood there scared and naked. Her hairy private parts were on full display. She tried to explain but I slapped her in her mouth and told her to shut up and sit down. She scurried over to the couch and I wiggled my way through the window. Lil mo coward in a corner of the couch. She was obviously scared for her life. I asked her why, why did she take my husband? Why did she want to hurt me soo badly? What happened to her rnb divas money to where she was living in the projects with pregnant cats in her living room?
Lil mo explained that times were hard and her quarterly $1,500 def jam royalty checks had dried up and she was just trying to make ends meet. She was tired of being mocked and ridiculed by the public and she felt like Jeffery was always there for her. I had to leave. It was just too much for me and I had to leave. I climbed out the window, got stuck a little and then wiggled my way out the window. I ran to my van and started crying. I couldn’t believe it. They weren’t sneaking around, they were doing it literally right in front of my face. I stuffed my face with donuts and then I thought for a second: I RAN to my car!! I didn’t need to stop mid way through for a break or anything!! While today obviously wasn’t the best day, I was at least feeling good about winning this race. The race was coming up and I couldn’t wait to win that award and rub it in lil mo’s face.
Week eight and there were only two more weeks left until the big race. Physically I felt good, but emotionally I was a mess. I needed something to boost my self esteem. I kicked Jeffery out so I was now on my own, I had to drive myself around, make my own breakfast, snack, snack, lunch, snack, supper, dinner, snack, midnight snack myself. It was a lot to handle. I needed pleasure so I decided to go buy an adult tow. I went to a local adult shop and greeted the clerk. The clerk seemed excited, yet confused. He said “I know you!!” I said “im sure the hell you do! But im not here for all that” he said to me “aren’t you famous?” I said “no shit!!” He said “I know you, you’re warren sapp aren’t you??” I threw a dildo and hit him in the head. On the way out I found an interesting flyer. I read the flyer top to bottom and decided to give the man on it a call. We set up an appointment for us to meet. We went to his home studio and that’s when it became clear, this man wasn’t just a regular photographer he was planning on taking extremely risqué photos of me. Photos of me doing all types of stuff that I wouldn’t normally do. At that moment I was feeling alone and lost so I decided to go through with it. The first pose was just me in my stretch pants and lane bryant bra. After that he asked me to pull the straps down. He then instructed me to go in the back as disrobe. He sat out a bunch of props and talked me through some different scenarios that he had in mind. The first one was for me to pleasure myself with a roast turkey leg in both my holes. He then asked me to lay spread eagle while he covered me in giblet gravy. At first it was a bit weird but then I honestly started to get into it. He handed me a car cover to wrap up in while I waited for the pictures to be printed. Once they were done i headed out. I knew exactly what I was going to do with these pics.
It has become trendy to be a “gay ally” someone; who claims to stand up for and accept members of the LGBTQIAQN community. There are so many different types of allies, but not all allies are your friend truly. Some have other motives. Let’s take a look at some of the different types of allies.
The “corporate” ally-A company that posts pro-lgbtqiaqn statements like during the pro-8 deal in California or participated in the whole love wins campaign. Features gay/lesbian/non traditional families in their adverts. Sell rainbow coloured items during Pride month in June. It’s sometimes hard to know if these companies are being sincere or not. Bottom line is they’re a corporation and in today’s world it’s good business sense to be pro-gay at least on the surface. What is the alternative? To not say anything? In today’s world that almost as bad as being anti-gay. The people are not going to stand for that: at all.
The “over the top” ally-Her brother is gay, his daughter is gay and has been so since 1990. She’s used to being around the gay community and is very comfortable in doing such. She knows all the gay lingo and doesn’t bat an eye when you tell her about all of your wild fantasies including whips and chains. She’s the first one to volunteer with the AIDS organisation and go to pride marches. That’s the good side of her, the bad side is she’s CRAZY! You say ANYTHING remotely anti-gay and she’s on you. She was suspended from college during her junior year for beating an anti-gay minister who came to campus. She now works at Starbucks which is a pretty open and inviting place. Except for every once in awhile when misogynistic anti-gay douche bag will come in wanting a coffee. He can’t read the menu and doesn’t know what to order because he’s obviously an idiot. While waiting for his coffee he makes small talk with the man beside him. He makes some comment about Caitlyn being a lesbian man in a dress and that’s all it takes. The “over the top” ally jumps over the counter and douses the anti-lgbtqiaqn bigot with the hot coffee. The liquid scalds his face and chest. He becomes furious, but knows he deserves it so he walks out in shame. The best way to deal with the “over the top” ally is to make sure she’s medicated and tread VERY lightly around her.
The My “brother in law is gay” ally-This guy didn’t necessarily grow up around gay people or with any gay friends, but now he’s got a gay brother in law. At first he felt weird about having a gay brother in law, now he doesn’t have an issue with it. His wife is the “over the top” ally, so saying anything remotely anti-gay around her will NOT end well at all. You and your brother in law become friends when you found out about his athletic prowess. You all now play basketball together at the gym on Wednesday nights. He’s a big aggressive guy who plays dirty in the paint. One time your team mate makes a comment about him being a “f*g” and before he can react you punch him straight in the nose. Blood everywhere. Needless to say the game ends early and you all head home to eat. Apparently your brother in law text his sister the “over the top” ally exactly what happened because she gave you the big piece of chicken and an extra scoop of sorbet tonite.
The “idgaf” ally-This dude dgaf; SERIOUSLY!! He enjoy playing video games and smoking pot. You all met in art class freshman year and have been friends ever since. He showed you your first playboy and that was the exact moment you knew women weren’t for you. When you told him you were gay his response was “okay, so do you want hot wings or pizza for dinner because im gonna order?” He literally could not care less. You’ve now been friends for 10 years and your big city gay friends ask who is this guy and why you all hang out so much? You tell them that he’s been your good friend for years and that you wouldn’t trade him for the world. Turns out your friend has been hitting the gym and catches the eye of one of your straight female friends. They’re now seriously dating and he has you to thank for that.
The “bar buddy” ally-She uses gay slang and knows all of the words to every song by Beyoncé, Rihanna and Adele. You all are bar buddies. Whenever she wants to go out she calls you up because she knows you and your crew are her personal glam squad. As you all run around putting together the perfect outfit for her and beating her face to a nothing she soaks up all the gay slang she can. When you all go out she stuffs a $10 bill down the blouse of her favourite drag queen. She gets super wasted and usually ends up spending the night on your couch. She finally gets a boyfriend. After 6 months of dating he introduces her to his son. She decides to go out for ice cream with you and her boyfriend’s son. When she gets home her boyfriend FLIPS on her! He tells her she is not to have ANY “sissies” around his son. Being love starved and emotional she decides to unfriend her gay squad and starts posting vaguely anti-gay things online. Turns out the boyfriend who she tossed her gay crew aside for? Yeah when she’s been keeping his son he’s actually been cheating on her with his baby mama. Oh well, she’ll learn next time! #Karma
The “celebrity” ally-This person is “famous”/”well known” and is pro gay at least on the surface. He’s a big straight guy. And being pro gay is good for his image. He’ll kiss a guy on the lips and play grab ass, but it’s all a façade. While he says he’s an ally, it’s BS. He’s a typical straight guy behind closed doors. Steer clear of him.
The “freshman year” ally-This is by far THE MOST annoying ally. They’ve just finished their first semester at college and think they know EVERYTHING!! This is in part because they took sociology/psychology 101 both in the same semester. They know all of the buzzwords like cisgender, misogyny, heteronormative and gender non-conforming. If you have an argument with them online it takes them 30 minutes to respond because they have to google every term to make sure they spell and use it correctly. The easiest way to defeat one of these “pseudo-allies” is by turning off their wifi and hiding their psych 101 books.
The “reluctant” ally-This guy is a hardcore conservative hates must things, but has a huge dilemma. He works for a non-profit that provides housing to homeless gay teens. When counselling these youths his advice is as generic and middle of the road as possible. He has a stack of “conversion therapy” brochures inside his work desk, and slips them into their backpack when they aren’t looking. He HATES working pride month events, but bites his tongue because he wants to eventually run this non profit for himself and change it to a gay conversion camp. So he keeps quiet and bides his time until he gets that big promotion.
While allies are a good thing to have, it’s important to know who is really in your corner and who’s full of it. Ask yourself “what’s the reason this person is calling them self an ally?”, “are they willing to grow and learn?”, “do they really care about gay rights or are they full of it?” And also “do they defend gays when in a mixed crowd?” Ask yourself these important questions.
At the end of May I went to a shoe store just to browse. I had 30 minutes to waste before work so i decided to pop in and see what was on offer. while i didnt end up purchasing a pair of shoes i did purchase several pairs of socks. All different styles and designs. When it comes to socks I’m definitelty a fan. I’ve got every type of sock you can think of: from patterns, to crazy colors, I even have a pair with a kitten eating a slice of pizza on them. Anyway, one of the pairs that I picked up had rainbows on them and said “my lucky socks” across the top of them. I tossed them in my basket with the others and didn’t really give it a second thought. They would be something fun to wear to pride or just around the house. Nothing serious. Then it happened, I woke up early last Sunday morning and scrolled my news feed. I saw story after story about a mass killing that had taken place in Orlando, Florida at Pulse night club. There was so much to the story and everyone seemed to agree that it was a senseless tragedy. One thing about me that you’ll learn is that if I don’t feel I have something new, interesting or innovative to say, i hold my piece. Talking just to talk is not productive and makes people less likely to listen when you actually say something of substance. Instead of rambling on about how upsetting this whole situation was to me i decided to show my support another wear. Rainbow socks. I put this pair of socks on with slides on Sunday evening and wore them to the grocery, the take out spot and then the gas station. I heard the cashier say as i left “did you see his socks? i like those!” It’s my little way of saying “it doesn’t matter whether i’m gay or straight or somewhere in between, what matters is i’m VISUALLY showing you my support for the LGBTQAQN community. It’s a way of saying “I’m rocking these socks out loud and in public; you got as problem? let me know and it’s gon be what it’s gon be!” I’m not asking for anyone else’s approval, I’m just saying I support the victims in Orlando, I’m part of this community and this is the way I’m showing it. That being said I’ve washed these socks by hand every evening. Today i went back to that same store and bought 4 more pairs of these socks, so now I can rock my rainbow socks no problem. Happy Pride month yall!!
