Episode 41 “Throw a mumu on mama”

This week @ArrozChicken and @LovesToSleep12 have an amazing show! We talk Beyonce’s Grammy semi-snab, cam vs jim jones in “the rumble in the geriatric rap jungle”, a mom who cant keep her tiddies in her bra and of course we have our yolanda saldivar of the week! it’s a mess!!

Shouts to @TheJohnEffect, @BabyBoyPodcast, @DramaDupree, @im_just_jackie, @_TaKenyah, @RealandRawPod, @Bag_Ladiez, @OurQueenTiffany, @podcastbrothers and everyone else! We love listening to and interacting with you all!

@ArrozChicken Ep 38

Back for another week of @ArrozChicken and @LovesToSleep12! Ever wonder how Keke Palmer spent her New Years? or Maybe the number of Paternity suits Kirk Frost is currently involved in? Maybe you’re interested in Sherri “Shape Shifter” Shephard and her lous of an ex husband. If so, you’ve come to the right place!! we’ve got all that, plus a new segment AND our final installment of #RidingWithBrandy! You can’t beat that!!

#WeAllWin

Shouts to @TheJohnEffect, @BabyBoyPodcast, @DramaDupree, @im_just_jackie, @_TaKenyah, @RealandRawPod, @Bag_Ladiez, @OurQueenTiffany, @podcastbrothers and everyone else! We love listening to and interacting with you all!

Arroz Chicken Ep 20 “URINEtown”

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Hola Bienvenidos and welcome to Arroz con Chicken the podcast your abuela warned you about!

I’m jaime (@ArrozChicken), this week Everlena (@LovesToSleep12) and I talk straight outta compton, movie-going while black, #AtlantaFX, Keisha Knight-Pulliam, give advice and of course we have our Yolanda Saldivars of the week! get into it!

Music from ACBeats on YouTube, Gracias!!

iTunes: ArrozChicken

Shouts to @2uncoolpodcast @TheJohnEffect and @BabyBoyPodcast; love listening to you guys and appreciate all the support.

Arroz Chicken Ep 18 “Say Yes To The Mess!!”

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Hola bienvenidos and welcome to Arroz con Chicken podcast the podcast your abuela warned you about! I’m Jaime. Thanks for listening, RT’ing, sharing, etc. We really appreciate it!
Ya’ll show some love to my new permanent cohost Everlena @LovesToSleep12! I’m so excited to have her on board! Be on the look out for her blog!
Shouts to @2uncoolpodcast @TheJohnEffect and @BabyBoyPodcast; love listening to you guys and appreciate all the support.
Onto the show: we talk aretha, queen countess vaughn, nene leakes, Ryan Lochte and tons more!
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Http://arrozchicken.com
Http://soundcloud.com/arrozchicken
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@ArrozChicken

Trump and the Baby

trump baby

Trump and the Baby
Last week I had the strangest experience in the world!! I saw Donald trump get into a fist fight with a toddler !! Yes, Donald Trump and a baby were fighting!!
It all started when we were boarding a plane from New York to New Hampshire. It was a premium flight so all the seats were business class or better. I was sitting in first class with my husband sapphire, real name, Gerald. We were discussing different ideas for his toy poodle grooming business when a crowd of people boarded the plane. I swore I knew one of the people. My suspicions were confirmed when the stewardess asked him what he wanted to drink and he called her a big/lousy/loser because she didn’t have ultra premium imported Saki.

Continue reading “Trump and the Baby”

Arroz Con Chicken Ep 15 “Cute as a Budden”


This week we have another great show for you. I am joined by a wonderful cohost DJ Bombshell! we talk about her career as a DJ as well as a charity run that she just did. We also talk WNBA, Charles Kinsey, Remy, etc Of course have advice as well as our Yolanda Saldivar of the week which has to do with the DNC.

Visit: https://soundcloud.com/dj-bombshell_ky
Follow: @djbombshell_ky
Email: djbombshell03@gmail.com
Peep: https://www.facebook.com/theTrillestSouthernBelle/

Visit: http://Arrozchicken.com
Email: Arrozchicken@gmail.com
Tweet: @ArrozChicken
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Kelly Price’s couch 2 5k week 10! (The Finale!)

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The big day had FINALLY ARRIVED!!!! It was the morning of the race and I was so excited! I got up early, put together my outfit to match my running flats. I decided to make a healthy breakfast of oatmeal with fruit and green smoothie and then a snack of biscuits and sausage gravy and a salad. I saw the err of the ways so I decided to steer clear of the snickers salads and opt for something a little healthier. This time I decided to make taco salad for my morning snack. I used lean ground beef, gold corn tortilla chips, fresh lettuce, tomatoes, guacamole, homemade bacon ranch dressing and sour cream. Now before you ask me “kelly why are you using sour cream on something healthy?” Let me remind you that I will bread and deep fry your face like a country fried steak if you ask about my dietary choices one more time!! Im over it!!!!” After that I decided to jog around the block a few times. It was really a test for me b/c the 7 Chinese places in the strip mall were just opening up for the day. I usually go to Shanghai hills on Sunday for chicken wings, beef and broccoli, dumplings and vegetable lo mein, on Tuesday to the Panda’s village for Szechuan chicken, crab Rangoon, steamed buns and sweet sticky rice and so on. I always told them that I liked variety in my eating but the real reason was I was ashamed to eat at 7 Chinese restaurants in one week. Apparently their profit shares had each gone up 20% since I had moved into the neighbourhood. I remember Mr lui telling my estranged husband, Jeffery Rolle, that he slaughters an entire cow every Sunday morning just to make a Kelly Price sized order of beef and broccoli. It made me feel good to know all of my food was being made with fresh ingredients. I would typically order large portions that way I had enough for lunch and dinner because I don’t like to answer the phone when I’m watching my shows in the afternoon and evening.
Anyway, after my jog around the block I got ready. I decided to bring the conversion van because I wanted everyone to fit comfortably. I took myself, Jeffery Rolle, my estranged husband, lil mo, her 3 of her 9 children and some of my close celebrity friends like Faith Evans and Keke Wyatt. We walked over to the starting area and I got registered. There was only 30 minutes until the race started. I forgot my snickers shakes and bottled water in the conversion van so lil mo and Jeffery Rolle, my estranged husband, offered to go back to the van and get grab them for me. I made small talk with some of the other runners and about 5 minutes passed, still no water or snickers shakes. I was getting worried. I didn’t know if something has happened to Jeffery Rolle, my estranged husband, and lil mo, so I headed back to the conversion van to investigate. What I saw shocked me. Jeffery Rolle, my estranged husband, was being ridden like a horse by lil mo. He then flipped her over and tossed her salad. I can’t remember one time in my life having him flip me over like that. Whenever we made love it was me lying on my back or him hitting me from the back. Toward the end of our relationship he wouldn’t even try, he would bend me over and stick a kielbasa in my sausage shoot. At first I didn’t know what to make of it. It felt… different…… I had been with Jeffery Rolle for DECADES. I knew what it felt like when he was about the “arrive” the feeling of him swelling inside of me. He got me good for about a month or so and then he slipped up and got bold. He put a kielbasa in my sausage shoot and then slid another one in my back yard entrance. At first it felt good and then I thought “how is he filling up both of my spots if he’s only one man?” I reached around and felt what felt like a kielbasa, I immediately pulled it out of myself and pushed Jeffery Rolle, my estranged husband, off of me. I rolled over in the bed and began to cry. I continued crying until I remembered I had, had a mini fridge and a grill installed at my bedside. I decided it was no use letting the kielbasa go to waste, so i sautéed up some peppers and onions, toasted up a brioche bun and made myself a sandwich. No use in being angry AND hungry. Anyway back to the race.
I couldn’t think about what I had just seen, I had to focus on the race. I got to the starting line. I was nervous, I didn’t know what to expect. Yes, I had been jogging around my block but this was 5k…
The starter’s pistol sounded and I was off. I started out at a strong pace. I decided it was really important to pace myself so I didn’t pass out or break one of my ankles, which would mean no more kitten heels while performing. As I ran I thought about all I had made it through. In the very beginning buying my size 16EEEEEE sneakers, ordering delicious Chinese food. I remember being mistaken for Keenan Thompson at the donut spot and getting into it with that lady. As the first mile approaching I saw the furling station. I stopped at the table and grabbed a drink. I quickly spat it out when I found it was water. Where was my estranged husband, Jeffery Rolle, with my personal protein shake. Turns out he was nowhere to be found, he was probably still in the back of the conversion van making “cream of us” soup with that rnb tramp. I decided to act fast, I ducked through the crowd and called for a ride. It was 10:25 so I was torn. By the time we got through the drive thru it would be 10:40. Sure enough the ride arrived at 10:35 and I know exactly what I wanted: a large meat lovers pizza and a small diet coke with chocolate syrup added. I quickly devoured my snack and told the driver to drive to the Dairy Hut for an Oreo peach peanut butter milkshake. Fresh fruit, healthy carbs, protein, dairy, can’t beat that. On the ride back I slurped down my shake and asked the driver to let me off about half a mile before the end of the race. The driver did just that and I was able to come in 3rd place out of all of the runners. I came in first in my weight class which is a pretty big deal. My friends and family met me at the finish line and there was lil mo holding hands with my estranged husband, Jeffery Rolle. I took the liberty of climbing into the conversion van and leaving everyone behind. I just wanted to get away from it all. The world is my oyster as I sit here at Shoneys writing my diary. If you would like to book me for your next event or would like to buy one of my fashionable stylish ponchos please feel free to hit me up.

Kelly Price Couch 2 5k week nine

kelly price couch 2 5k
Week nine and I had exactly one week until the big race. I was now able to walk/run around the block 3 times without having go directly to the ER, which was quite an accomplishment for me. But I wanted more, I wanted to be able to run across that finish line, collect that trophy and rub it in that rnb diva bitches’ face!! I cut out all sweets except for snickers shakes before during and after my workouts. You might ask “kelly why’re you eating a candy bar if you’re trying to lose weight??” My response would be to run you over with my 1992 conversion van and laugh at you because you’re REALLY trying my patience. But to be honest, snickers shakes count more as protein since they have peanuts and good stuff like nougat in them. I think nougat is full of vitamin c or maybe even d. Speaking of D, I was missing my dick dealer Jeffery. Since I found him eating out a certain rnb diva bitch I decided to kick him out of the house. I told him to go be with that rnb diva bitch and that’s exactly what he did. He moved into her section 8 housing with her and her 6 kids. I decided to drive by and see for myself. I hopped inside my conversion van and headed that way. As I was rounding the block for her project building something stopped me in my tracks; a “hot donuts NOW” sign flashing. I had my van up on two wheels trying to get in that parking lot. There was an old woman and her grandson in line waiting and I tripped the old woman. Before she knew what hit her she was lying flat on the floor. Everyone in the shop ran to assist her and while they were helping her I stepped over her and walked up to the counter. Some people may ask me “kelly why would you do that??” And my response would be “Dont you know im kelly price and I’ll throw a brick at your face??” Anyway, I walked up to the counter and I was in awe. I saw so many different types of donuts. I decided to stick with my diet though. I chose half a dozen strawberry cheesecake donuts. They had fresh strawberries on top and a cream cheese filling which is calcium. I then chose blue berry qwwglazed donuts, pecan sticky buns and a peach crumb cake bites. Once I had my morning snack I drove over to Lil Mo’s apartment. There was a busted window with shattered glass ALLOVER the sidewalk. A feral cat hopped through the broken window and had a seat on the plastic lawn chairs in the front room. Lil mo came sauntering into the living room wearing cheap lingerie and even cheaper heels. Apparently she decided to prepare breakfast for Jeffery, my husband, which was laughable. She had sugar slurps, toaster bites, french toast sticks and hot sausage links. She clearly got out her finest paper plates to serve Jeffery this meal. As I saw them eating I had so many questions, why her and not me? What did she do that I couldn’t? Should I turn her in for mismanaging her food stamps that the government gives her for her half dozen kids? I was full of emotion. I was also full of regret for not taking them up on that “buy 1 dozen, get 1 dozen half off” sale at the bakery. After this I think I’ll slide back over to the bakery for that second dozen. After Jeffery had finished his breakfast, lil mo and Jeffery began to get comfortable on the couch. Apparently they had no problem with the broken window and lack of blinds which allowed me to see everything that was going on. I was shocked by the sight of lil mo without her wig. She was bald. And not that “im a natural hair goddess” type bald, I mean she looked a mess!! Her unspeakable parts were hairy and unkempt. Didn’t seem to mind to Jeffery because he allowed her to mount him and ride him like a race horse. I had to put a stop to this so I got out of the car and jumped through the window. The only problem was the window was kind of small so I became stuck in the window. Lil mo jumped up from the couch. She stood there scared and naked. Her hairy private parts were on full display. She tried to explain but I slapped her in her mouth and told her to shut up and sit down. She scurried over to the couch and I wiggled my way through the window. Lil mo coward in a corner of the couch. She was obviously scared for her life. I asked her why, why did she take my husband? Why did she want to hurt me soo badly? What happened to her rnb divas money to where she was living in the projects with pregnant cats in her living room?
Lil mo explained that times were hard and her quarterly $1,500 def jam royalty checks had dried up and she was just trying to make ends meet. She was tired of being mocked and ridiculed by the public and she felt like Jeffery was always there for her. I had to leave. It was just too much for me and I had to leave. I climbed out the window, got stuck a little and then wiggled my way out the window. I ran to my van and started crying. I couldn’t believe it. They weren’t sneaking around, they were doing it literally right in front of my face. I stuffed my face with donuts and then I thought for a second: I RAN to my car!! I didn’t need to stop mid way through for a break or anything!! While today obviously wasn’t the best day, I was at least feeling good about winning this race. The race was coming up and I couldn’t wait to win that award and rub it in lil mo’s face.