Black Ink Crew Ep. 1 Recap

Black_Ink_Crew
Quick recap of previous season; chicken drop, teddy and sky, caes and unprotected sex with a random girl, Caes and dutchess deciding to get engaged in Paris, Donna walking around like joseph and the techni-color petri-dish. Quani running up to Black ink crew with her crazy chancleta-clad cracked out kin. (Try saying that 10 times fast with a mouth full of teeth).
Caes/Dutch are engaged and building their empire. Donna has a different outfit! Yes! Say goodbye to those funky leggings that she wore for 17 episodes straight! Quani has decided that she doesn’t feel safe in her house. Not because she lives in Cabrini-green projects, but because Caes showed up flexing.

Dutchess “voided” out sassy and puma’s name on the wall, thus banishing them from the kingdom for good, girl I don’t know, maybe mama Dee has an opening on the chamber maid staff?
Caes friend just came home from the fed so to celebrate he decided to stop by the shop and have a broken gas mask tattoo on the top of his head.

Black Ink Crew decided to have a party because well it’s Wednesday and no one contracted hep-c from dirty needles. Sassy showed up at the behest of Sky. This did NOT sit well with Caes who took her outside the palace for a stern talking to. Sky’s reasoning was “well shit Caes, we’re all sleeping on used yoga mats, no reason we can’t get along in the palace!” Caes AGAIN stated that he and his royal-wife-to-be were attacked by Puma’s friends and that somehow Sassy is clearly responsible and must pay by being denied access to the deli trays and henny shots. Apparently there’s been a line that’s drawn and this is their side and this is our side. Basically he told sky “bitch, this is a live action version of the sandlot and Puma is James Earl Jones”
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O’shit peddled his way up to Kathy’s house with a black liquor bag full of orange juice and paper cups for Kathy and Achilles. Achilles said “n; what bike? You mean MY NEW BIKE?” and sped off. In essence playing Debo to his own father.
In the next scene Teddy is seen talking to another 35 year old big-stomached woman with few inhibitions and even fewer edges outside of the shop. She for some reason, finds Teddy irresistible and throws the box his way. Teddy grabs her cakes because hey, hoe pussy is the best pussy, right? Who is Teddy to turn down some twat??
Dutch and Caes then decide to have a power lunch with Yandy and Mendecees, because that’s what powerful couples do. Honestly, I would probably take wedding advice from Yandy and Mendecees, but even more than them I would take advice from baby mama’s mama Kim! A woman who changes her oil in timbs and a night gown.
lhh-kim

O’shit’s newest baby mama kicked him out so he was reduced to sleeping on the pull out couch. Whatever.
Sassy decided she wanted to come hang at Black Ink Crew. Not sure why, maybe she went to confessional and this is part of her alms giving or some shit. Who knows??

Sky is then seen being handcuffed in Florida Evan’s old house dress. Not looking to be outdone, Sassy shows up looking like Vermeer’s Bitch with the Pearl earring when she goes to talk with Pum Pum.

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